I Ghosted My Dreams
But now am Reclaiming My Light & Rekindling My Fire
For all the coaches, courses, books and articles out there, to help you achieve and exceed your dreams, not one (that I've found), specifically addresses the emotional conflict and contrast that comes with being a coach, consultant, healer, mentor, writer, creative, independent, solopreneur, et al.
There are countless people marketing their online success, coupled with their programs, both free and big ticket, that focus on building your business to:
reach your financial goals,
attain your ideal laptop lifestyle,
attract your stark raving fans,
and address your particular pain point.
But what happens, if afterwards, You + Your Business still feel out of flow?
Can you envision your origin story?
That one that started with a dream and passion, to help others. Knowing there would be times that you would have to pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Because being an entrepreneur takes passion, grit and resilience.
So—I’m going to come right out and ask if you are…
feeling a lost connection to your hopes, dreams and expectations?
or a lack of alignment with your purpose?
or are weighed down with procrastination and self doubt?
not feeling like yourself, especially missing the version of you were when you started?
If you agreed with any of those, let’s pause…and just BREATHE
I'm not going to tell you ‘I know how you feel’, because I don't know.
Because your relationship with your business is unique to you.
Entrepreneurship is Both: Personal & Professional
There can be aspects of being an entrepreneur, that are more emotionally challenging than anticipated.
Which may have influenced how you showed up in your personal life.
Along the way some personal life events, have impacted you and therefore your business.
The crux of the situation may be that the overlapping and weaving of emotions from the personal to professional and back again, may need untangling.
In my experience, turning to writing was a salvation. It helped to redirect my focus and energy to something that I could influence—when things on the personal side were chaotic.
More than once I found that I just couldn’t do both.
Life events on the personal side both took and required all of me.
And the dreams I had for myself, were disposable in comparison.
Emotional Conflict and Contrast in Business
I told myself “When things balanced out, I’d come back.”
Unfortunately, multiple life events impacted who I am as a person and how much energy I had to devote to my passion.
So when I would have the space to jump back in, it would feel clunky and out of momentum. I would question whether ‘if what I wanted do or say, to help others’ was worth trying to resuscitate. Again and again.
I had ‘ghosted’ my hopes, dreams, and expectations of the future I had envisioned. I didn’t feel a connection to my purpose, nor clarity in my voice.
It wasn’t until I began to be emotionally honest about the scribbly journey, that I recognized that I had a significant disconnection from myself. I had used up all the energy I had reserved for what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be.
My belief in myself was left behind.
I had lost my fire. I was grieving that loss.
My post, An Incomplete List of Grief, has an ever evolving list of life events that can cause a person to grieve.
Maybe grief doesn’t resonate with you, when you think about how you feel about your business.
I feel that when emotionally impactful life events happen in your personal life—whatever word describes how you feel, that emotional energy may carryover and into how you feel in and about your business.
My Vision Was Blurred
Validations were visible everywhere.
Low to no energy.
Inability to string words together.
Defiant resistance to post any strung words together.
Believing someone else said them better anyway.
Felt out of touch and behind with tech and trends.
Choosing busy-ness and distractions over business.
Focused on comparing and despairing.
Opting for isolation over connection.
Things that felt easy, when I started, felt harder.
Lacking confidence in skills, clarity of thought, being easily distracted and unfocused. Questioning all the reasons why I started in the first place.
When people asked how things were going, I was challenged with how honest to be with them, and in turn myself.
Not re-starting was a way for me to predict the future. Since in my mind I had already failed because it was obvious to me, I couldn’t do both personal and business simultaneously, especially when things were tumultuous.
And what if something else happens and I walk away for the umpteenth time?
Reconciliation or Divorce?
I am no stranger to grief, but I didn’t recognize that the overarching feeling I was experiencing between me + my business was grief.
Because NOBODY wants to grieve. Myself included.
And here I am, stringing words together, posting strung words together and cheering others on that may be saying it better.
Because the relationship with me + my business is important, to ME.
I may not have had the capacity to believe that 100% over the last decade, and I’m okay with that—now.
I felt the feelings that needed feeling.
Then, I did the work that needed doing.
Then did it all again. Because like any relationship, not everything can be handled as a one and done. So I’m prepared to do it all again when it needs doing.
And so I did.
We [me + my business] are working on reconciliation, divorce is no longer on the table.
And, now I want to write about it.
Passion is both: Personal & Professional
I make no claims that what I will be sharing will help you to:
reach your financial goals,
attain your ideal laptop lifestyle,
attract your stark raving fans,
never have another business pain point.
What I will tell you is that my intention is to invite you to be emotionally honest about your relationship.
And that it’s okay that you want something more.
That you want it to feel different.
And for it to be better, for both You + Your business!
Hi, I’m Sherry—Let’s Reclaim Your Light: Rekindle Your Fire
